Sunday, February 13, 2011

TAL Presents: "A Farewell to Horns: Not Without My Sweet Feed"

Today the reign of terror ended. After months of bribery, violence, manipulation and attempts at disembowelment, Queen Patience has been ousted. Many thought of her as a bad goat - bossy...a bully, even. She pushed the others around (literally). It was her way or the highway. But she was simply misunderstood. It was and the cruel, cruel world that made her what she was.

Just a plucky, curious youngster.

Things started off so well. She was a sweet kid - brave, outgoing, friendly. She hung out with her mother, carefree and happy. Soon however, her world was shattered. Her mother was taken away. Other goats came and she was forced to share her Eden. She wasn't much for sharing. She was forced to labor, day in and day out. Her life was one of endless toil and injustice. The degradation was simply unspeakable. She took control wherever she could find it. She ruled the barnyard with an iron hoof. Any man, woman, goat or dog who dared look askance at her paid for it with wails of pain. Soon everyone feared her. She was IN CHARGE. Her newly elevated status caused her to view her incarceration in a new light. Perhaps it wasn't so bad. "I have them all cowering in terror! I can do what I want" she thought. Her subjects tried to avoid her, but she sought them out to torment them. They tried to flatter her, but to no avail. They answered her every beck and call, but she was never satisfied.

"I am my own goat."

After a time her subjects, once fearful, became angry and rebellious. "The Queen has gone too far!" they cried. "She must be overthrown!" Tensions in the barnyard reached a tipping point...there was conspiracy...secret meetings...whispers. As a distraction, her subjects treated her to a fine morning at the spa. She had a nice breakfast and a mani-pedi. "What a lovely morning" she though to herself. She suspected nothing, until strangers tied her up and put her in a truck! She was taken away - banished to the outlands to live with an indigenous herd of meat goats ("MEAT GOATS?!") for the rest of her days.

What will be her fate in this new unknown territory? Will they break her? Will she find her place among them and fade into the obscurity of a normal life? Or will she rise again, claiming the power that she knows is rightfully hers?

Yeah, probably.


  1. Absolutely wonderful post, Tara. I love it!

  2. Goes to show you - Queens can be deposed, but divas are forever ;)

  3. Tara,
    hope you are doing well. I always enjoy your posts. John Collins ended up buying the place near Aquilla. should you ever want to get together again please let us know. thanks, bryon haney

  4. Love it!!! :)

    I too am a goat fanatic & fellow Texan..I have a blog post titled "Three Cheers for Cajeta" follower of mine commented looking for cajeta canning info.....Went hunting on google & your blog came up in the search results..

    Thanks to you I've had an unproductive morning as I've been reading your blog all morning :)

    So, now you have yourself a brand spanking new blog follower :) Great blog, so far has been an enjoyable read.

    Best Wishes,

  5. I just have to say that I love your profile answer to "what is a semi-truck?"

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  8. I collected a lot of interesting things from your blog especially its discussion. From the tons of comments in your posts, I believe I’m not alone having all the enjoyment here! keep up the great work.

  9. Ha! To be fair, she is one beautiful goat! I think it's funny that animals have personalities just like people!

  10. Girl: Am I pretty?
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    Boy: No
    Girl: Do u even like me?
    Boy: No
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    Boy: No
    She heard enough and was hurt... She walked away with tears in her eyes
    The boy grabbed her arm
    Boy: Your not pretty...your beautiful
    Boy: I dont want to be with u forever...I need to be with u forever
    Boy: I dont like u...I love u
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    Boy Whispers: Plz stay with me
    Girl: I will...
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    *If u dont post this to 5 other comments... You will have back luck in relationships for the next 10 years.