CLUCK CLUCK...*AHEM*...HO HO HO!
Oh, who am I kidding? Cluck cluck CLUCK! You think this is a joke? I'm funny to you? Well, guess what you're getting in your stocking? Droppings! That's right, droppings! Now put me down before I leave you a present!
I'm keeping the hat, though. It's jaunty and it makes me feel pretty.